Saturday, September 1, 2012

Blood And Water

Apparently, blood really is 4x thicker than water. 
But I think science is the only place where that's true.

Eric and I met when Evie was two years old and we were married when she was five. 

But you'd never guess it.
In fact, Evie doesn't even know!

God's sense of humor and planning of this adoptive relationship is even evident in how similar they are in personality and even in physical appearance! 

Most importantly, you would not be able to differentiate between how Eric treats Evie and how he treats his biological spawn.

Eric's love for Evie, and Evie's love for Eric, is proof that blood relations have little to do with the strength or bond of family.

When we were growing up, whenever Dad did or said something especially embarrassing, he would jokingly say, "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family!" 

But I think Dad was dangerously wrong. 

I spent too many years putting up with too much crap from hurtful, unhealthy, crazy people because I believed that family was more important than any other relationship.

It's only been in the last couple of years that I've realized what family really is - and what it is not.

"Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you."

Family does NOT make me cry or feel crappy about myself every time I see them. 

Family are NOT bad influences on my children.

Family are NOT people who I have to defend my husband, our lifestyle, or our faith to.

Family is NOT the people I have to protect my nuclear family from - physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

The persecution we suffered at the hands of my blood relatives should not have come as a surprise, since Jesus warned us about stuff like this happening:
"Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather division. For from now on in one house there will be five divided, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against  mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law."  Luke 12:51-53

So my blood family ended up not being my true family after all.
And I've drank a lot less wine since realizing this! 

Family is a safe place, loving, supporting, encouraging, and challenging each other, spurring each other on.

Here's how Jesus defined real family: 
"Who is my mother, and who are my brothers? And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother."  Matthew 12:48-50

By God's grace, we have been able to forgive my dangerously insane family for what they've done against us.
However, reconciliation is unlikely. 

My priority has to be protecting my nuclear family from them, so while we can forgive them, it would be a mistake to forget what they've done.

And I've found new freedom in breaking those family ties.

I no longer feel the suffocating obligation of spending time with horrible people, which frees up a whole lot more time and energy for our real family.

The reason we're able to forgive what's happened to us is because while we were still enemies of God, Christ died to forgive us.

To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." - C.S. Lewis

"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Matthew 6:14-15

Are You Ready To Be Free? 

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Family - is blood really thicker than water?

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