Monday, May 27, 2013

Why I Wore White At My Wedding

I love the innocent romance of Jennie Bishop's "The Princess And The Kiss" where the princess saves her kiss for the man she will marry. 
In the story, the princess turns down many suitors before a humble, kind farmer who has saved his kiss for his future wife pursues her, seeing that her purity "sparkled like diamonds." 

But in the workbook that goes along with it, one of the recommended activities is for me to take a glass of pure, clean water and put dirt in it. 
Then I'm to ask my daughter if she still wants to drink it. 

I will have just taught my daughter that if she fails to maintain her purity, that she is dirty. 
That no one will ever want her. 
That she is unlovable. 
That her worth is somehow tied to her lack of sexual experience. 

What does this mean for children like Elizabeth Smart who are the victims of sexual predators?
If you believe the dirty water analogy then even those children are unclean, impure, shameful.

The Christ I know stops the murder of a woman caught in adultery who is about to be stoned to death, forgives her sins, and simply tells her to "Go, and sin no more." 

Angel, the prostitute in Francine River's "Redeeming Love" who marries a godly farmer, says to her husband, "I wish I had come to you clean and whole." 
She feels that she is not worthy of his love because she has been with other men. 

I have said the same thing to my own husband
I have wished many times that I had remained a virgin for my husband.
But "virgin" was not the role I was to play in God's story.

If I had been taught that someone who isn't a virgin is like a piece of chewed up gum, like Elizabeth Smart had been taught, then I might still believe that I am unlovable and unworthy.
That sex is a shameful act, instead of the mysterious, beautiful gift from God that it is.

But I didn't learn about chewing gum or dirty water. 
I learned grace.
I learned that Christ came and died for me, defeated death and rose again.
Something is only worth what someone else is willing to pay for it;
And Christ paid for me with His life.

Christ chose me.
His sacrifice is why I am lovable.
His atonement is why I am worthy.
Christ's blood is why I am pure.
Christ's resurrection is 
why I wore white at my wedding.

What dangerous purity teachings have you heard?
Share your story with us in the comments.

October 21st, 2006
Eric, Genevieve, daughter Evie (5)
The Most Beautiful Love Story Of All Time