Tuesday, October 1, 2013

It feels like death is the only way out? You're right. But not yours.

Someone typed the keywords "suicide to hurt husband" and stumbled upon the guest post by Ricci who's husband committed suicide last Christmas. (read Ricci's heartfelt post HERE)
There's no way for me to reach out personally to this woman who's obviously hurting, and though I trust that the Spirit will intervene where it's God's will, I cannot just sit by and pray quietly for this person. My heart and sobs scream out for her brokenness.

I have something to say to you, whoever you are.
So bear with me, as I type through these tears:

Dear Google Searcher,

I don't know you. 
I don't know how you're hurting.
I don't know how hopeless you must feel.

I don't know the desperation behind that Google search.

But I know the One who does know.

It feels like death, blood, is the only thing that will make things better?
You have no idea how right you are.
But it's not your blood that will fix things.

The blood that will set things right was already shed.
The blood that will take away all your pain was willingly poured out for you, so that yours wouldn't have to be.

I know that you are loved.
I know that you were fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of the God who set aside His glory and was murdered for you so that He would be with you again.
I know that you were bought at the highest possible price because you are loved.
I know the One who sent His Son to go spill His Own blood on your behalf.

There is something better for you.
Your life does not have to be defined by the anguish you're experiencing. 

This is a fucked up world.
But this is not the way things were supposed to be.
And this is not the way that things will always be.

I urgently wish that you would call me and barf up all the feelings you're experiencing. 
I wish you would trust me with your deepest longings and painful memories because saying those things out loud to another person causes them to lose their power over you.

I pray that the Spirit would reveal to you exactly how much you are adored. 

Why do I care?
Because I love you.
Because I'm also made in the image of God.
Because I'm empowered by the same Spirit who was in Christ.
I don't know you, but I know the One who made you.
And I know that He loves you. 
That's where my love for you comes from.

If you're hurting, if you're desperate, if you're feeling the overwhelming weight of blood being the only way out, please, PLEASE call this number: 1-800-273-8255

Don't be afraid. 
Just call.