From Unhappily Married to Happily Unmarried

The End Of An Era

2006-2022

After 15 years of marriage, Eric and Genevieve are now officially divorced.

Just as their marriage began surrounded by loved ones, the former couple hopes to end their marriage with the support of loved ones as well.

Celebrate Life.

Humans come together to acknowledge and celebrate every other momentous event, such as birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, even funerals, so why not divorce too?

We chose to throw a joint divorce party together to signal to our friends and families that divorce is happening, that our divorce is amicable, that they don’t need to choose sides, and to announce to the world that life is changing for the West family!

Setting Intentions.

A combined divorce party sets the intention of the type of divorce we’re envisioning. While I can only hope to achieve the co-parenting relationship that @momsoftampa have with their blended families, Eric and I have agreed that we will always put the kids first. And we make a good team! Divorce should not change

Bird Nesting.

Eric and I decided to “Bird Nest” the kids throughout our in-house separation and during the first part of the divorce to keep changes small and incremental for the kids. I was recently interviewed by The New York Times about our live-in separation and impending divorce.

So Eric sleeps at the house Friday night, hangs out with the kids all weekend, then leaves for work Monday morning and stays with a friend during the week. I usually leave the house Friday night, stay with friends, and return Sunday night to get the kids to school Monday morning.

There are exceptions, like last weekend Eric and I took the kids for a day trip to Cannon Beach together, Eric was there to help the kids make Mother’s Day special for me, and we’re planning on spending big holidays together in the family home.

Eventually, when Eric finds a place where the kids can have their own space to make it feel like their home, the kids will have overnighters at Dad’s. But none of us are in a rush to make that happen. This Bird Nesting situation keeps life easy for now. When that stops being the case, we’ll reevaluate.

New Beginnings.

It’s complicated and nuanced and all the feelings are still being processed. There are layers upon layers of grief that comes in waves — my own, and then the kids have their own grief to process that I’m trying to be present to hold space for.

None of this is easy!

But it is simple: Choose love.

Do I want my kids to have parents who can’t be in the same room together and fight about parenting time? Or do I want my kids to understand that while mommy and daddy couldn’t be husband and wife anymore, that we are still a family and we all still love each other?

I am grateful to have an ex who prioritizes our kids’ wellbeing and chooses with me to cultivate peace.

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Genevieve C. West

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