Skip to main content

From Unhappily Married to Happily Unmarried





The End Of An Era

2006-2022

After 15 years of marriage, Eric and Genevieve are now officially divorced. 

Just as their marriage began surrounded by loved ones, the former couple hopes to end their marriage with the support of loved ones as well.



Celebrate Life. 

Humans come together to acknowledge and celebrate every other momentous event, such as birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, even funerals, so why not divorce too? 

We chose to throw a joint divorce party together to signal to our friends and families that divorce is happening, that our divorce is amicable, that they don’t need to choose sides, and to announce to the world that life is changing for the West family! 



Setting Intentions.

A combined divorce party sets the intention of the type of divorce we’re envisioning. While I can only hope to achieve the co-parenting relationship that @momsoftampa have with their blended families, Eric and I have agreed that we will always put the kids first. And we make a good team! Divorce should not change




Bird Nesting. 

Eric and I decided to “Bird Nest” the kids throughout our in-house separation and during the first part of the divorce to keep changes small and incremental for the kids. I was recently interviewed by The New York Times about our live-in separation and impending divorce.   

So Eric sleeps at the house Friday night, hangs out with the kids all weekend, then leaves for work Monday morning and stays with a friend during the week. I usually leave the house Friday night, stay with friends, and return Sunday night to get the kids to school Monday morning. 

There are exceptions, like last weekend Eric and I took the kids for a day trip to Cannon Beach together, Eric was there to help the kids make Mother’s Day special for me, and we’re planning on spending big holidays together in the family home. 

Eventually, when Eric finds a place where the kids can have their own space to make it feel like their home, the kids will have overnighters at Dad’s. But none of us are in a rush to make that happen. This Bird Nesting situation keeps life easy for now. When that stops being the case, we’ll reevaluate. 




New Beginnings. 

It’s complicated and nuanced and all the feelings are still being processed. There are layers upon layers of grief that comes in waves — my own, and then the kids have their own grief to process that I’m trying to be present to hold space for. 

None of this is easy!

But it is simple: Choose love. 

Do I want my kids to have parents who can’t be in the same room together and fight about parenting time? Or do I want my kids to understand that while mommy and daddy couldn’t be husband and wife anymore, that we are still a family and we all still love each other?

I am grateful to have an ex who prioritizes our kids’ wellbeing and chooses with me to cultivate peace. 










Popular posts from this blog

#9 who needs furniture?

A couple weeks before we were to leave Billings, friends of ours were kind enough to let us stay a night at their home in Bozeman so we could view as many affordable apartments as possible before Eric had to be back at work. We saw some pretty interesting places. 1980's everything pink including the carpets. Shag carpets. 1960's kitchens. A bathroom with nowhere to put a lightbulb. I don't want to know what that stain came from. Do they expect people to shower in this thing? Floors that had so much give I was expecting to see Eric fall through the floor at any moment. There was one place where I refused to let Kaylie out of my arms because I didn't want her touching anything. And then Eric showed me the apartment just 3 blocks away from the Paul family, who had been such blessings to us and good friends since we moved to Montana. I walked in the door and laughed. Everything was white and clean and new, a fireplace, a bar, a balcony, 3 big bedrooms, including a m...

#11 Hardwood Floors, Terrible Neighbors, & God

Confessions of a Genevieve: I hate blogging. It's like a journal that everyone can read. I've always hated journaling, too. I kept a diary once when I was 12. But most of the stuff in there was made up anyway. Apparently, my life was even boring to me. The only reason I started this blog was because it's what God wanted me to do. I wasn't too concerned with regularly updating because I figured it had served it's purpose: I had been obedient in telling what the Lord had done for us. ... But He hasn't  stopped doing for us. I've just stopped telling about it. I've also been reluctant to post a continuation of our story because I wanted my heart to be in the right place first: We had terrible neighbors. No matter what time of day or night we would walk across our own carpeted apartment floor in stocking feet, they would scary bang on the ceiling. Apparently, having kids in a 2nd floor apartment with partiers living below isn't such a great ...

My Kids Are Going To Be So Messed Up

WE'VE MOVED! Please visit us at our new home: GenevieveWest.me I am SO not the perfect parent. My kids will attest to that. This week, I read a facebook post complaining about moms complaining on facebook  (Say that 10 times fast). I'm sure that it wasn't specifically directed at me because I'm so inconsequential in the life of this person. But it kicked me in the gut anyway. I started wondering if I'm a bad mom.  I was overcome with guilt every time my kids asked me to "look, mom!" or "will you?" But not in a good, fruitful way.  Not in the way I re-start paying attention, soaking in every detail of each one of my babies after reading a story like Ronan's .  Even with a more-than-usual work load of writing commitments looming over me, a new workshop presentation just days away, a sink full of dishes , and a mountain of laundry , and only an accumulative of 8 hours sleep the last two days, I made sure the kids at...