But you couldn’t take it. Pure Love was too much for you. But instead of finding healing for yourself to be able to accept Love, you left her.
You left her for years. Decades even. You left her in a thousand little ways every single day. You left her in such big, undoable ways that no one would have blamed her for leaving you back. But she stayed. And is he loved hard enough to make up for what you couldn’t give.
She stayed because that’s what Love does. She turned towards you because that’s what Love does. She held you while you confessed and cried because that’s what Love does. She saw her partner in distress and she loved you and she stayed.
And in repayment for her affection and steadfastness, you made her cry. You broke her heart. You broke your vows. You broke your home. You broke your promises. You broke her hope.
You didn’t believe you could be so thoroughly loved. You were always waiting for Love to leave you like everyone else did. You needed to prove yourself right and so kept pushing her away by your choices. When she needed you, you left her in a thousand little ways over and over again every single day. As she was choosing you, reaching for you, you were choosing to turn your back to her and step just out of reach.
You slammed the door in Love’s face. Over and over again. You made sure to break trust so thoroughly so many times that even Love couldn’t take it anymore eventually.
Love was so lonely and needed to be reminded that she was also worthy of love. So after decades of turning towards you while you pushed her away, Love finally turned away from that door you had slammed in her face to see what she could see.
That’s when you dealt the final blow. As if finally choosing to love herself was the proof you were always looking for that she, too would leave you.
And you burned the house down on your way out when you broke the hearts of your babies by leaving them, too. You needed to show your children that Love would leave them too. Because that’s how generational trauma works. You made Love leave.