How authoritarian religion grooms families to accept control, silence dissent, and confuse submission with sanctification.
I wasn’t raised in a strict Christian household. I didn’t grow up being spanked “in Jesus’ name” or told that obedience was the highest virtue. Quite the opposite. I was raised by two parents who were raised women—one from Indiana and one from a small town in England—who were activists before it was socially acceptable. They stood with LGBTQ+ folks and people of color when others whispered, “Did you see who went into their house for tea?”
I was raised to question authority, think critically, and follow my conscience.
So how did I become the mom who demanded total obedience from her daughter in the name of God?
The answer is trauma. And a church that offered healing—with a catch.
When Religious Trauma Becomes Authoritarian Obedience
After surviving a season of heavy, compounded trauma, I was exhausted. Spiritually, emotionally, physically. The church I found felt like a lifeline. They welcomed me with open arms. They gave me structure, purpose, a path forward. But that path led me straight into authoritarianism.
I was taught that obedience was godliness. That questioning was rebellion. That a wife must submit fully to her husband, and children must submit fully to their parents. It was framed as divine order, and I accepted it wholeheartedly.
I thought I was being faithful.
What I didn’t realize was that I was being spiritually groomed to accept control as care. And I was teaching my daughter to do the same.
Obedience Culture is a Gateway to Fascism
I read books like Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp, and Six-Point Plan: for Raising Happy, Healthy Children by John Rosemond, which are still sold in Christian bookstores and promoted in parenting ministries. These texts taught me that my child’s will was the enemy, and my job was to break it.
They taught me to view independence as defiance. That hesitation meant rebellion. That my daughter’s resistance was not a signal of distress—but a sign of sin.
What I didn’t understand then is that authoritarian parenting, especially when religiously justified, is not just harmful. It’s dangerous.
There is extensive psychological research linking authoritarian parenting styles to a greater susceptibility to fascist ideologies. The classic 1950 study The Authoritarian Personality by Adorno and colleagues found that children raised in fear, under harsh and punitive control, are more likely to adopt rigid worldviews, submit to authority figures without question, and dehumanize “outsiders.”
In short, they are raised to be perfect candidates for authoritarianism.
This Is Happening Right Now
In 2025, under Trump’s second term, we are watching authoritarian family values shape national policy in real time. The Christian nationalist movement has mainstreamed political obedience, book bans, anti-LGBTQ+ laws, and attacks on bodily autonomy, all in the name of “family values.” It’s not a coincidence. It’s conditioning. Generations of families raised to never question authority are now voters, teachers, judges, and lawmakers. What we normalize in the home becomes law in the state.
“I Was Just Following Orders” Wasn’t Enough at Nuremberg
One of the most haunting lessons from the Nuremberg trials is that obedience is not an excuse for complicity. I wrote about it here. Just because you were “taught to obey” doesn’t make it righteous. In fact, it makes it more urgent that we interrogate where our obedience leads us. Blind submission to power, whether in the home or the government, has never led to justice. It leads to silence, dehumanization, and harm.
Christian Fascism Doesn’t Start at the Voting Booth
It starts in the family.
It starts with churches that teach, “Wives, submit to your husbands.”
It starts with parenting ministries that say, “Break the will of your child early.”
It starts with theology that equates questioning with rebellion and control with love.
And it’s reinforced by pastors who blur the line between political power and spiritual authority. Families are primed to follow strongmen because they’ve been taught from birth that obedience is the holiest act of all.
This isn’t a fringe issue. It’s a growing movement. It’s Christian nationalism. It’s fascist-friendly theology. And it’s infiltrated homes, schools, and voting booths across the country.
My Daughter Resisted—and Thank God She Did
My oldest daughter pushed back. She challenged me. And eventually, she walked away.
She no longer speaks to me in order to protect her own peace. And I support her in that decision. Because I hurt her. Not out of anger, but out of conviction. I really believed I was doing what God wanted.
And that’s what makes this so insidious.
I was praised by the church. Applauded for my parenting. Upheld as a woman of faith.
But in reality, I was training her to tolerate control. To equate love with submission. To stay silent in the face of harm.
She saved herself. Not because of what I taught her, but in spite of it.
I’m Raising Her Siblings Differently Now
I still believe in God. But I no longer believe that control is divine.
Her younger siblings are being raised with trust, boundaries, and mutual respect. I apologize. I let them say no. I encourage critical thinking. I do not confuse obedience with virtue anymore.
That shift inspired everything I now create—especially my book, Functional-ish: Real Life Hacks From a Messy Mom Just Trying to Keep the Remote Where It Belongs.
If you’re a recovering authoritarian parent, or just figuring out how to parent differently, this book will feel like a lifeline.
👉 Buy on Amazon (easy + review-friendly)
👉 Buy direct (support the author and double my cut)
If You’re Still in That Church
If your church tells you to break your child’s will…
If your marriage is crumbling and they tell you to just pray harder…
If your parenting “support” group cares more about power than people…
That is not God.
That is control.
And it will train your children for fascism.
You are allowed to question.
You are allowed to leave.
You are allowed to change your mind and your methods.
And you are allowed to do it now.
Share This. Say It Out Loud.
I used to think I was raising my children for heaven.
Now I know I was training them for tyranny.
And my daughter had the courage to say no.
Not because of my guidance.
But in defiance of it.
Join the Community
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We’re not here to be perfect. We’re here to grow.
