Thursday, October 25, 2012

In Memory Of My Beautiful, Annoying Little Sister

Dear Cassie,

It's coming up on a decade without you.

I've been thinking of you a lot recently. 
Too many things remind me of you lately.

A good friend lost her brother.
A friend from high school lost her sister. 
They just found Whitney Heichel.

It's almost your birthday.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Innocence"
It's bitter sweet, but I always think of Buffy's 17th birthday when her mom lights the birthday candle: 

Joyce:  Happy Birthday. I don't have to sing, do I?

Buffy:  (looks down at her hands) No.

Joyce:  (indicates the burning candle) Well, go on, make a wish.

Buffy stares at it for a long moment.

Buffy:  I'll just let it burn.

Watching Ringer reminds me too much of you and how much you loved Sarah Michelle Gellar. 
You look a little like her to me sometimes.

Ellie - 7 days old

You have a new niece... who will never know you.
That makes three now. 
You would have loved having three nieces!

Evie (11) and Kaylie (almost 3) Photo by Wickliffe Photography

Evie reminds me so much of you sometimes, it's both eerie and annoying. She has a compassionate heart, a need for justice, and a creative mind, like you.

You would have loved Kaylie's sense of humor and her need to run.

And Ellie's exaggerated expressions and surprising sudden outbursts.

I wish you and Eric had met.
You wouldn't believe what a wonderful husband and father he is.
I wonder if you would have appreciated his sense of humor. 
I think you would have either loved it or not gotten it and hated it and been hostile toward him. lol

I miss you.

So many happy memories, sad thoughts, things and people that you're missing because you're gone. 
People that are missing out on you.

I feel cheated that I only got to meet an incomplete version of you.
You didn't get the chance to grow and change and settle into yourself, like the rest of us.

You'll always be beautiful and young and free.

There was a part of you that was just too beautiful for this world.

I love you.
"Sisters Forever"

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