Genevieve C. West

I feel cheated. 4/27/2017 My heart is broken. My soul hurts. i still can't believe it's true. some days are easier than others. today has not been an easy day. I keep wanting to text him, forgetting for a moment that he's not there. I wonder how long I'll still pick up the phone to text him. I finally deleted the last text message I sent him today. It was the one where I was asking him if he was ok, because he wasn't answering his phone, hadn't returned Eric's message, and I saw some strange Facebook posts from his mom and niece. It hurt every time I scrolled past it. So now it's gone. No longer reminding me of the first moments when I feared that my friend was gone. I've been here before. I know I'm strong enough to survive this. But right now, today, it just doesn't feel like it. There's a hole inside of me. Some days it's easier to ignore that hole. But not today. Today the hole is swallowing me up. I