My heart is broken.
My soul hurts.
i still can't believe it's true.
some days are easier than others.
today has not been an easy day.
I keep wanting to text him, forgetting for a moment that he's not there.
I wonder how long I'll still pick up the phone to text him.
I finally deleted the last text message I sent him today. It was the one where I was asking him if he was ok, because he wasn't answering his phone, hadn't returned Eric's message, and I saw some strange Facebook posts from his mom and niece.
It hurt every time I scrolled past it. So now it's gone. No longer reminding me of the first moments when I feared that my friend was gone.
I've been here before. I know I'm strong enough to survive this. But right now, today, it just doesn't feel like it. There's a hole inside of me. Some days it's easier to ignore that hole. But not today. Today the hole is swallowing me up.
Iwill always miss Josh.
I will always be sad at all the things that he's missing out on.
i will always feel cheated that I'll never hear his laugh again.
That he'll never tell me another rambling story about a girl he met.
That our summer plans will never happen.
That our youngest kids won't remember him.
That I'll never get to meet his kids.
That we have to live in a world without him in it.
That the world is missing out on Josh.
My soul hurts.
i still can't believe it's true.
some days are easier than others.
today has not been an easy day.
I keep wanting to text him, forgetting for a moment that he's not there.
I wonder how long I'll still pick up the phone to text him.
I finally deleted the last text message I sent him today. It was the one where I was asking him if he was ok, because he wasn't answering his phone, hadn't returned Eric's message, and I saw some strange Facebook posts from his mom and niece.
It hurt every time I scrolled past it. So now it's gone. No longer reminding me of the first moments when I feared that my friend was gone.
I've been here before. I know I'm strong enough to survive this. But right now, today, it just doesn't feel like it. There's a hole inside of me. Some days it's easier to ignore that hole. But not today. Today the hole is swallowing me up.
Iwill always miss Josh.
I will always be sad at all the things that he's missing out on.
i will always feel cheated that I'll never hear his laugh again.
That he'll never tell me another rambling story about a girl he met.
That our summer plans will never happen.
That our youngest kids won't remember him.
That I'll never get to meet his kids.
That we have to live in a world without him in it.
That the world is missing out on Josh.