Genevieve C. West

I keep picturing a Christmas present wrapped in festive paper and bright ribbon sitting under a Christmas tree, a constant reminder that the person the gift was meant for will not be here to open it.  But moving it seems unacceptable.  Moving it would be admitting that they're really gone. Soon, if the family can even bear to celebrate Christmas at all, that gift will be the only one left under the tree. And when it comes time for the sad task of putting the decorations away and taking down the tree, that family will have to decide the fate of that unclaimed gift.  Whenever I put my kids to bed, I picture an empty bed in Connecticut where a child should be, and the deep anguish of parents who will never have a bed time routine with their little one again.  I wish I could turn my heart off. I am literally unable to stop thinking about all of this loss. I feel too deeply empathetic and it breaks my heart daily.  I keep thinking of what's ahead for all the familie

I've been in a funk for a few months. I call it a "funk" because I don't like to use the "D" word. Admitting that I've been "depressed" feels like a heavy, ill-fitting label. I try to make myself better. I try to distract myself with things that might take the edge off - friends, church, my favorite novels, my husband. But my friends have disappointed me. Attempts at church have been a disaster. My novels eventually come to an end. My husband can't be everything I need him to be. Nothing can fully satisfy this missing piece in my soul because I know it's a God-shaped hole. No other puzzle piece will fit quite right. But I can't seem to locate this missing piece yet.  Until then, I will have faith. "If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." -Jeremiah 29:13

Part 1:  Pro-Choice/Pro-Life/Pro-People Part 2:  It's Okay To Drown Your Baby When... Part 3:  The Murders Of Liberty & Babies Part 4:  Rewarded For Bad Behavior I hope you've taken the time to read Part 1 (especially if you have abortion in your history) and Part 2 before you venture on to this Part 3. I value clarity over agreement and wrote them in this order hoping that you would understand my heart behind this "issue."  If you have read Part 1 , you already know that I have compassion for people who's lives have been touched by abortion and that I will not judge you.  If you have read Part 2 , you understand I believe there is a little living soul inside the mama before that fertilized egg even snuggles into its place in the uterus.  This belief is why I need to write this Part 3: I feel utterly helpless, frustrated, frightened, outraged, and heartbroken.  This is the reason I've come out about being pro-life: The Obama a

Part 1:  Pro-Choice/Pro-Life/Pro-People Part 2:  It's Okay To Drown Your Baby When... Part 3:  The Murders Of Liberty & Babies Part 4:  Rewarded For Bad Behavior "It's okay to drown my baby if..." It is impossible for me to finish this sentence.  In an earlier post ( Pro-Choice/Life/People ), I opened my heart up to you and came out as pro-life for the first time. Whatever your views, I hope you'll read Part 1 first, especially  if you have abortion in your past.   I value clarity over agreement, so my only hope in writing these posts is that you will come to understand why my heart is so completely broken over this: Before our modern medical equipment can even detect a heartbeat, I believe that little baby has a soul and is just as much a person as my 7 week old baby who's in my arms as I write this. Because I believe this to be true, I was devastated when we lost our baby Hadassah when I was just 6 week pregnant...   And bec

Part 1: Pro-Choice/Pro-Life/Pro-People Part 2: It's Okay To Drown Your Baby When... Part 3: The Murders Of Liberty & Babies Part 4: Rewarded For Bad Behavior Compassion has kept me  silent on this. I feel deeply empathetic to people who have had to make this agonizing decision . If it were me, whether I regretted or defended my choice, I would feel icky every time someone with a proud posture,  trying to win an argument, said anything against it.  So in an effort to be loving, I've said nothing. And then today while the kids were sleeping, I followed a link ... I read an  article  that would probably be controversial to both pro-choice  and pro-life folks.  I loved it.  The author echoed my feelings so perfectly, though with a much  different tone than I would have taken.  So I started to share it on Facebook ...  ...Then changed my mind...  ...Then changed my mind again and posted it...  ...Then changed my mind again and deleted it. S

Yes, I've read Fifty Shades of Grey . And I am a Christian.   I'll wait a second for the shock to pass... ...Ya done? A couple of disclaimers:  First, I strongly encourage people to be discriminating about what they're putting into their heads. There are certainly some things I've read or seen that I wish I could un-know .  Second, I want to be very careful that folks don't think I'm suggesting they read these books, 'cause I'm certainly not. That said... I've read several articles and blog posts on Christian's reactions to the "50 Shades" trilogy.  Descriptions like "mommy porn" and "trap of Satan" come to mind. The world is watching to see how Christians engage with real, uncomfortable, and messy issues.  If we are shocked by a little erotica for the ladies and trying to make the readers feel ashamed and judged, how are we to be trusted by someone who is in a BDSM relationship?

Dear Cassie, It's coming up on a decade without you. I've been thinking of you a lot recently.  Too many things remind me of you lately. A good friend lost her brother. A friend from high school lost her sister.  They just found Whitney Heichel . It's almost your birthday. Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Innocence" It's bitter sweet, but I always think of Buffy's 17th birthday when her mom lights the birthday candle:  Joyce: Happy Birthday.  I don't have to sing, do I? Buffy: (looks down at her hands) No. Joyce: (indicates the burning candle) Well, go on, make a wish. Buffy stares at it for a long moment. Buffy: I'll just let it burn. Watching Ringer reminds me too much of you and how much you loved Sarah Michelle Gellar.  You look a little like her to me sometimes. Ellie - 7 days o ld You have a new niece... who will never know you. That makes three now.  You would have loved having three nieces!

Also posted at Lil Miss Gossip October 21st 2006 Our wedding anniversary is this Sunday and it's got me thinking... Most little girls start planning their wedding at age three. To prince charming, of course. Complete with those weird epaulette shoulder pad things like Cinderella's prince. As we grow up, the criteria for a future husband changes (slightly).... and the list gets a whole lot longer.  My list included things like: Kisses me in the rain Writes me love letters Holds open doors for me Is spontaneous Buys me roses Wants to spend every moment with me ...But none of these things does a good husband make... Thankfully, God knew how ridiculous I was. *FLASHBACK*   I got a job as a Starbucks barista. It was there I met a supervisor they called Eric... actually, they called him "el capitan de las vacas," but that's another story... I believe I would have sabotaged myself out of the wonderful marriage I now enj

Ellie, 4 days old You wouldn't think I'd need a reminder, but I did. In my post "Someone Is Missing" , I told how, after losing our baby six months earlier, I was sound asleep and I heard a baby cry so clearly that my eyes popped open. I took a pregnancy test first thing in the morning and it was positive. Ellie, 4 days old Although I felt from the beginning that this was God's promise to me that I would hear this baby cry, I doubted constantly. I needed no help remembering to say, "God willing," when talking about having the baby. What I needed more of was hope . And the reminder that God had given me a promise when I audibly heard that baby cry that night. And God keeps His promises. Ellie, one week old - Photo by Wickliffe Photography Just after 3am Saturday, the contractions woke me up and were 5 minutes apart, 60 seconds long. We quickly realized this was happening faster than expected! We

What was a "social norm" is now archaic. What was "taboo" is now acceptable. But the same is NOT true for baby showers ... And I call bullshit. Why is it still a faux pas for a mom-to-be to plan her own shower? Baby showers are evolving: They used to be hen parties , but today's men are getting in on the action, too - and rightly so, since without them there would be no baby! "Couple's Baby Showers" and men's  "Poker For Pampers"  are becoming more common. Veteran moms are foregoing "Showers" and are opting for  "Baby Sprinkles"  or  "Blessingways"  since they already have the essentials. Eco-savvy moms-to-be are relying on the internet for  invitations, RSVP's, and even "Thank You" notes , which I'm sure my Aunt Vivian will eventually have a stroke over. So with so many Baby Shower norms being broken, why am I holding to some antiquated rule that sa