Unless Life Gives You Water & Sugar, Your Lemonade Is Gonna Suck.

A fb friend just posted:
I get so tired of people telling me "you just need a positive attitude" when I'm sick and can't do something... "UNLESS LIFE GIVES YOU WATER AND SUGAR, YOUR LEMONADE IS GONNA SUCK."

Or in the words of Job, "What miserable comforters you are!"


Are those "positive attitude" people wrong? Probably not.

Is it what my fb friend needed to hear? Evidently not.

Romans 12:15 says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

I come from a self-proclaimed "family of sorrow", an identity which I do not claim for myself or my own nuclear family, so I fight tooth and nail against wallowing.

But not against comforting. Not against being a friend.

A friend we'll call "Joe" recently shared with a few friends that he's struggling with something emotionally. Having recently been in a similar battle myself, I can empathize and I understand that it is not an overnight process. But many of his friends are giving him advice that he already knows but just isn't up for emotionally yet.

There is a time to comfort and a time to challenge.

Challenge will not be accepted if the timing is wrong.

I'm convinced that no amount of exhorting will help Joe because he already wants what all this good and even biblical advice would accomplish. He's just waiting for his emotions to catch up. The rest of us need to be patient.

Sometimes what a person needs is sympathy, not a step-by-step plan to pick themselves up by their bootstraps or to change their perspective. Giving advice in that moment may make you seem like an unsympathetic know-it-all.



Maybe my "lemonade" fb friend just needs someone to say, "I'm so sorry. How frustrating! I'm praying for healing for you. Can I come help with housework or bring your family a meal?"

Maybe Joe needs someone to say, "This must be so hard for you. Is there anything I can do to help?"
Maybe Joe just needs someone to listen instead of talk.

Have you ever received good advice but it wasn't what you needed?

Have you ever given good advice that was received badly because they just weren't ready to hear it?

How did that go?

If Life gives you lemons... keep it away from open wounds...

"He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." 2 Corinthians 1:4


green-eyed monster

Confessions of a Genevieve:
I prefer to only let you see the best of me.
Sure, sometimes I tell you about my mistakes and most pathetic moments, but it's almost always after I've come through them and I've learned some great wisdom and I'm looking good again.

 So let's try something new:  I am a hot mess right now.
A few months ago we lost our baby.
"The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!”
We grieved the loss of our baby, but we know that God can be trusted and I thought my heart was good and I was at peace.
And then I saw a friend's facebook photo:
a positive home pregnancy test.

 The real state of my heart was exposed. 
I cried out to the Lord in my jealousy and envy, 
"Lord, she has two babies under the age of 2! What about me?!"
And then last week a friend of mine sat in my living room and said, "I'm 9 weeks pregnant."
I burst into tears. 
Of course I'm happy for her! 
And yet I can't help wishing it was me.
After praying through it I thought I was good again.

 But today... her facebook post:
"Today, I am grateful for a bun in the oven." 
And she had a link to her beautiful blog post on the same subject.
I started sobbing and have only recently stopped sobbing. 
Wait, no. Still sobbing.
I can't fix this envy in me. Only God can.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.




UPDATES:


 If this is all TMI, you have Jon Acuff to thank: How to find a great waiter (and be a great blogger)



Meaningless

Everything is meaningless.
Life is empty.
All my work, all my effort, all my knowledge, all my wisdom, the career sacrificed for, the bank account built up, is all worthless in the end.
Even the things that are most important - my husband, my children, the time I spend with them, family, love - It will all just fall away and be forgotten.

No, I'm not depressed or suicidal.

What's the meaning of life, then, if everything is meaningless?
Why am I here?
For a very specific purpose: to glorify God.
Everything else I've been designed to do, to be - spouse, parent, friend - all of those other roles are all for that purpose: to glorify God.

I believe that once we start viewing everything through this grid, through the "this is all for God" mindset, not for ourselves, not for our family, not for our own survival, comfort or joy, we are happiest and most satisfied and we are functioning within the role that God has designed us for.

When the people I love tell me they feel like something is missing in their lives, I want to say to them, "You're right! And you'll always feel that way until all those other things you're chasing after take a backseat and you ask Christ to be Lord of your life."

What keeps me from saying that to them? Fear.
Do I dare to be misunderstood, for Christ's sake?

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

   

Enough?

How much is enough?
In a recent blog post, my husband asked the question, "What is enough?" Money, time, energy, attention, space. His theory is that we'll always want, "just a little bit more."

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity)

We'll never feel like we have enough of any of those temporal things because that's not what our souls have been created to run on. We're meant to run on Christ alone.

But how much of Christ is enough?

We will never be satisfied!
We will never have enough of Christ!
By His grace, we should always desire more of Him.
We should never feel or say to ourselves, "That's enough of Christ for me. I'll take a break now."
By His grace, we should constantly pursue more Christ with every action, every word, every breath, which are all by His grace.

How much of myself is enough for Christ?
When should I cut Him off?
Hasn't that been enough time?
Hasn't that been enough sacrifice?
Haven't I given up enough of me?
No.
Never.
He's always sanctifying us. Transforming us. Renewing us. Changing us to become more and more like Himself through a series of baby steps throughout our lifetime.
And He deserves our everything.

What if we were warned that you and I were the folks Jesus was talking about in Matthew 7:22-23, "Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’"

What if He never knew us because we never let Him know us?
Because we never gave ourselves over to Him completey?
What if we've told Him, "That's enough, Jesus. You can't have any more of me."

What if that sanctification process is what it will take to be with Him in heaven for eternity?
If you knew that was true, would you ever say, "enough" to Christ?

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding."

Wondering how to be saved? Watch this short video by John Piper.

 

long lost love... & my husband knows.

Some truths about me:
I am created in God's image.
I am saved by grace, through faith.
I am blessed to be Eric West's wife.
I am blessed to be Evie & Kaylie's mom.

 I have dreams that go beyond being a housewife & homeschool mom.
I have a long lost passion that I'm beginning to recover.


I can't remember who asked me first, but I was probably in elementary school when the question was first posed, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"


Even then I was fearful of other's reactions if I had answered truthfully, "a writer."
I needed a career choice that wouldn't get attention from nay-sayers. 
I know! "A teacher." That did it. Teachers & family alike were all about that. All I had to do was go to college and get hired.

But what happened when the "go to college" plan was interrupted by life?


Fastforward a decade...




I love my life! I have an adoring husband, two beautiful little girls, a cozy home, a comfortable lifestyle.


But then something happened.

That wonderful husband of mine read a book by Jon Acuff called Quitter. He started rediscovering and taking baby steps toward his dreams.


Then he inspired me to do the same.


I'm a housewife & stay-at-home homeschool mom.  
I'm too busy with the day-to-day things of real life to pursue my passion of writing.
But what will happen when my excuses run out?

Will I wait until the kids move out to rekindle my long lost love of writing?

Will I wait until Eric is retired to reignite that passion I once had for writing?

There will NEVER be a perfect time.

 There will never be enough time.

 And I don't want to look back and regret the years I spent making excuses to not do the things I love. 

 I want to look back and know that I was following my dreams, my passions, one baby step at a time.

Your Ideas Don't Suck

Along with inspiring my husband, Jon Acuff has also inspired me, and apparently two African-American Grandmothers 30,000 feet above Dallas:
Kill your excuses before they kill you.




That book, Quitter? Here's the trailer. You should totally watch it:

And here's where you can buy it:



you sound like you're thinking

What I like to imagine is in the style of the fictitious Dr. Lightman, I can read my husband's face, body language and even his breathing better than anyone. I've said more than once, "you sound like you're thinking," when he's completely silent in a pitch black room. Then he laughs and tells me what he was thinking about.

Because Mr. West is one of the most important people in my life, because I care are about his happiness as much as my own, and because God created me to be a suitable helper for him, if he's upset, I'm upset. I may not know the reason behind his mood change, but it changes my mood, too. Then neither of us are having any fun!

I don't have any profound wisdom about marriage to offer.
I just know that men and women are different.
Equal in Christ, but very different.





Men and women are different.
And ideally, both the husband and the wife should try to understand and adjust in light of these differences.

Wives, the only thing I've figured out so far is that I need to ask Eric if he's upset with me. If he says "no," I have to believe him, even if he still acts upset. (The mistake I frequently make is I ask him over and over again, "are you sure it isn't me?"... until that makes him mad and then he is uset with me! lol)

Husbands, maybe your wife is different from me, but I only know what I need. Men, try not to withdraw. She might even need gentle verbal reassurance that whatever it is that's bothering you isn't her fault. (And if it is her fault, maybe try to kindly educate her about how whatever happened affected you.)

In creating marriage, God has asked two selfish, prideful sinners to live together under one roof in peace and harmony to glorify Him. We can't do this apart from His grace.
Eric West, I am blessed and proud to be your wife!


Understanding Men & Women: How They See Things Differently



Are you ready to be free?

Today I read a friend's facebook post (apparently they're lyrics to a song I've never  heard):
I don't need your forgiveness
I don't need your hate
I don't need your acceptance

Here's what God spoke to me through her post. It's nothing new, but here's what hit me:
Christ's forgiveness, acceptance, love is the only that truly matters.
Then, through His grace, He asks us to forgive, accept and love the unforgiveable, the unacceptable, the unlovely.
For HIS sake.
Not theirs.
Not even our own.
For HIS sake.
And the only way we're able to do this is by God's grace.

 "But he doesn't deserve to be forgiven, I hear you say. Neither did I. Neither did you."
(I don't remember where I read that, but I can't take credit for it)

 “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”
― C.S. Lewis

 I found this powerful video from a website I stumbled upon one night. Just reading about this radical forgiveness, I almost felt physical relief! Their story gave me hope that, by God's grace, maybe I can forgive the same way God has forgiven me:

I want to experience the freedom God offers through forgiveness - Both being forgiven by Him... and by forgiving others the way He has forgiven me.

As much as I want this, I'm not there yet. It's a process of little baby steps toward this. It's often challenging for me to forgive small perceived offenses, let alone real ones. And I know it's only by His grace that I'm taking the baby steps toward the freedom of being able to forgive like this.

Are you ready to be free?

The Bait of Satan by John Bevere is an easy and short read... unless you let the Lord work on you through it. It was pretty tough stuff about being offended and forgiving, and totally worth it. In fact, I need to be reminded of this stuff and will be reading it again soon:



Your Ideas Don’t Suck: Why I Stopped Waiting for Perfect and Started Writing Real Life



Have you ever held back an idea because it seemed too obvious to share?


I did. For a long time.


I used to say I hated blogging. The truth is, I hated the pressure to do it perfectly. I thought every post had to be polished, professional, SEO-friendly, and algorithm-approved.


But here is what I have learned as a published author and recovering perfectionist:


I do not need to write like everyone else.

I get to write like I talk.

I get to share stories that are messy, honest, funny, and completely real.


The grocery trip from hell.

The chaotic “kids say the darndest things” moments.

The kairos insights that hit me while folding laundry.


These are not side notes. They are the stories that make up a life.


When I stopped trying to blog for approval and started writing for connection, everything changed. I finally understood that blogging does not have to be a performance. It can be a conversation.


So if you are sitting on an idea that feels too simple or too personal or too weird to share, let me say this:


Your ideas do not suck.

Your voice matters.

And someone out there is waiting for the exact story only you can tell.


If you are ready to stop waiting for perfect and start being real, check out my guided journal or grab a copy of my latest book.


I created these tools for real people living real lives who want to tell the truth, not chase trends.


Let’s write like it matters. Because it does.


___


P.S. This post was originally inspired by Derek Sivers’ video, “Obvious to You, Amazing to Others.”

It’s a 2-minute reminder that your “nothing special” might be exactly what someone else needs.


Here are the key takeaways from Derek Sivers’ “Obvious to You. Amazing to Others”:




Your “Obvious” Isn’t Universal


What seems simple, boring, or obvious to you might be mind-blowing to someone else. Just because you understand it doesn’t mean everyone does.


“You’re used to it. You’ve heard it a hundred times. But it’s new to them.”




Share What You Know—Even If It Feels Basic


Don’t hold back your ideas just because they’re not original to you. What feels unremarkable to you might be exactly what someone else needs to hear, see, or learn.


“The most valuable things you can share are things you take for granted.”




Creativity Is About Perspective, Not Novelty


It’s not about inventing something brand new. It’s about expressing your version, your lens, your voice. Your interpretation gives it value.




Stop Waiting to Be “Expert Enough”


You don’t need to be the smartest, most experienced person in the room. You just need to say it how you see it. That’s where the magic is.




Create Anyway


Put your ideas out there. Teach. Post. Share. Someone out there is waiting for exactly the way you say it—even if you think it’s been said before.


“Obvious to you. Amazing to others.”


If you want more gems like that, crawl inside Derek Sivers’ head with these quick, brilliant reads:




Each one is packed with surprising clarity, written in his signature straight-to-the-point style. If you’re a creative, a builder, or someone sitting on a “too obvious” idea—read these.


(And yes, these are affiliate links. But I’d recommend them even if they weren’t.)







ORIGINAL POST:

"Are you holding back something that seems too obvious to share?"
I am.
As I mentioned before, I hate blogging.

 BUT I love facebooking.
What if I came at blogging the same way I approach facebooking? 
What if I stopped telling you play by play what happened and started telling you about our life? 
About stuff that interests me, like the walmart shopping trip from hell, 'kairos moments' I have, "kids say the darndest things" moments? 
Wouldn't you think that stuff was as awesome as I think it is? 
(only tell me the truth if the answer is "yes")

 Speaking of awesome, my amazing husband is the one who unknowingly inspired me to revamp my blog with his very own blog post. 
And if you don't check it out, you may not be as awesome as you think you are ;)
Your Ideas Don't Suck! 


#11 Hardwood Floors, Terrible Neighbors, & God

Confessions of a Genevieve:
I hate blogging.
It's like a journal that everyone can read.
I've always hated journaling, too.
I kept a diary once when I was 12. But most of the stuff in there was made up anyway. Apparently, my life was even boring to me.

The only reason I started this blog was because it's what God wanted me to do. I wasn't too concerned with regularly updating because I figured it had served it's purpose: I had been obedient in telling what the Lord had done for us.

... But He hasn't stopped doing for us. I've just stopped telling about it.

I've also been reluctant to post a continuation of our story because I wanted my heart to be in the right place first:

We had terrible neighbors. No matter what time of day or night we would walk across our own carpeted apartment floor in stocking feet, they would scary bang on the ceiling. Apparently, having kids in a 2nd floor apartment with partiers living below isn't such a great idea. So a dented front door and police report later...

Eric was out for a walk in the neighborhood when this woman came running down the street after him and asked if he was looking for a place to rent because she was moving out and her landlord was awesome.

When Eric showed me the townhouse I laughed. Hardwood floors, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, fireplace, 3 bedrooms with a master bath, attached garage, even a little deck and a grassy area! I just had a feeling that the Lord was going to give it to us. However, we had just dropped $1500 on getting our car fixed so we didn't have a security deposit. We would have to wait until the deposit from the apartment was refunded. And the landlord agreed!
 View 052411135...jpg in slide show

#1 - Going West


   

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To invite Genevieve West to speak at your group or church, please email Genevieve directly at MrsGWest@gmail.com.

Genevieve West is a professional Matchmaker and personal consultant, prolific blogger and speaker, perpetual manuscript attempter, wine-drinking, coffee-chugging, sometimes irreverent, often overwhelmed housewife and homeschool mom of three, redeemed by God's grace.
You can find more of Genevieve's insights and antics at:



Find resources and learn about Genevieve's Matchmaking services:
GenevieveWestMatchmaker.blogspot.com




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